Equality 101

Here are two scenarios involving generous students:

1)      My first semester of teaching at a community college, I received a gift from a student at the end of the semester.  It was a lovely little beaded necklace, bought at the local fair trade store.  The student gave me this gift on the last day of class, before grades were posted.   Based on what I had learned about her throughout the semester, I knew that the student was not trying to bribe me for a good grade—and after all, it was a small inexpensive gift—so I graciously accepted it.

2)      Just a few days ago, one of my colleagues received a gift from a student of hers.  We’re in midterms where I teach, and grades are due in about a week.  The gift was large and obviously expensive.  It was a basket filled with goodies, gift cards, and more. My colleague was unsure what to do with this gift—whether to accept it or explain why it may be seen as inappropriate—though she was pretty sure that the student had not meant the gift as a bribe.  This student had been very generous with money before, bringing boxes of expensive bakery cookies to share with the class.  After discussing the issue with other faculty members and with our associate dean, my colleague decided it was best to return the gift to the student and try to explain that it could be seen as inappropriate.

At the college-level, how should we approach gift giving?  I know that in grade school it is very common for children to give their teachers gifts (I myself have benefited from this through elementary-school teacher friends of mine who were overrun with too many goodies from students), but at the college level it is looked upon quite differently.  Should we always say “thanks, but no thanks,” or do we treat each student and each situation differently, accepting gifts that seem harmless and returning those that bring up red flags?  What’s fair? What’s equal?

And most importantly, should I find that student from years ago and return the necklace?